I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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