Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
