My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
