the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
i now understand why vodka
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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