girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
