Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
