Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
