that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
