doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Randomize
