My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I just saw a hot homeless man
I skipped work to stalk him.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
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