It's Friday. Sex?
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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