Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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