sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Randomize
