Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
