I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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