ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
