The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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