Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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