wat bout pragnant strippers??
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
