Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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