He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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