you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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