I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
