youre lurking in front of me
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize