Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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