I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
