Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
