you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
