been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
