yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
