i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
