My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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