I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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