what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
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