I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
