nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Randomize
