i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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