Where did you get a picture of my penis
kristin has been a bad kristin
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
