it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
My balls are so social today.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
