In the future we'll all be gay
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
