you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
