i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
