yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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