Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
