Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
He better not be in your backpack
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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