you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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