We're like a lot better than the average bears
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
