i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
