i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Randomize
