Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
