If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
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