Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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