It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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