in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
