He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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