Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
sarcasm needs its own font
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
