covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
