You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
